Tip-Off #132 - More than Enough
"You can never get enough of what you don't really want." - Eric Hoffer.
Thailand. The Samanea saman, or “rain tree,” enhances soil fertility. Its wood is used for making furniture and crafts, in construction, and in traditional medicine. The tree thrives in various environments, from northern South America to Southeast Asia and the Pacific Islands. It is 50 to 80 feet in height, and its canopy is up to 100 feet in diameter. It can withstand annual rainfall of up to 8 feet and endure 2 to 4 dry months. It is fast-growing (+/- 6 feet per year during the first years) and increasingly popular due to its numerous benefits.
Gratitude, like the rain tree’s benefits, has the power to profoundly transform our lives. The pursuit of satisfaction often blinds us to the abundance that surrounds us. We can never get enough of what we don't truly want. [*] If gratitude is merely about feeling good, it becomes another momentary pleasure. A famous cartoon parody comes to mind: Linus asks Charlie Brown, "Do you want a shivery-warm feeling that makes you tingle all the way through your body? Well, go pee in your pants."
Unlike emotions, gratitude can be present even when not felt. It's a disposition, a mindset, a practice, or, better yet, what I learned growing up in Latin America: su manera de ser (literally, "your manner of being"), a fundamental part of personal character. Gratitude changes not what we face but how we face it, disclosing that life itself is a gift. As the saying goes, "Think of how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now — and then got it back again."
In our fast-paced society, thinking is a distraction, and gratitude is beside the point. Digital technologies overwhelm us with information and “answers,” leaving us in perpetual interruption. Urgency is mistaken for importance, momentary pleasure for gratitude. A simple fact of life is left for a mindfulness retreat: No law in the universe says we will live a day longer or take another breath. My preacher father always gave me pause when he thanked God "for this day that has been added to our lives," as though we could have died last night. Well, that’s true. Life is a gift. Forgetting takes it for granted.
Hannah Arendt argued that Adolf Eichmann took what made him happy for granted, never thinking about it. He was an upstanding family man and a decent citizen, undoubtedly unaware of doing anything wrong. His conscience would only have bothered him if he had not obeyed orders. His horrific crimes resulted from an inability or unwillingness to think about his actions and their moral implications. Eichmann just did what came naturally. Arendt spoke of the "banality of evil" to emphasize how ordinary individuals can commit atrocities simply by finding no reason to think twice.
Although Eichmann's apparent normality struck Arendt, she never suggested that anyone could have committed the same atrocities he did. Nonetheless, albeit less perniciously, our everyday behavior doesn’t get us off the hook. Doing good is often easiest because it’s too much trouble to do otherwise; besides, “I have a reputation to protect.” As someone once said, “Virtue is a lack of opportunity; vice is too much effort.” A friend remarked, "Now that I'm so old, what choice do I have?" Thinking about how we should behave doesn't make us grateful for the opportunity.
The Almighty is shrewd. Famous for the Ten Commandments, God knew what any good parent knows: you can't just order people around. Intimidation is no match for a positive promise. Before delivering the Commandments, God essentially said, “I am the Lord, your God, who brought you out of slavery. Trust me, I know a thing or two about freedom. Here, let me carve it in stone for you.”
In the chaos of our times, debate rages over whether we can legislate morality and where to hang the Ten Commandments. Whether or not we take God seriously, we can pick up some good ideas. Telling people what to do doesn’t work. Inspiring gratitude makes doing good second nature and promotes the best kind of debate. While not everyone will be persuaded, gratitude encourages more compassionate and less defensive exchanges, making discussions more productive than winning an argument.
Gratitude builds courage by shifting focus from what we lack to what we have, reducing feelings of fear and inadequacy. Gratitude has been considered the foundation of virtue and the catalyst for eloquence since Cicero's time in the 1st century BCE and even earlier in Greek philosophy. When we appreciate the abundance in our lives, we are more likely to develop qualities such as kindness, empathy, and humility. A medieval theologian said, "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough." A modern spiritual teacher close to Desmond Tutu, Thich Nhat Hanh, and the Dalai Lama wrote, "It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful."
The inimitable author Anne Lamott wrote about what she calls the "three essential prayers" — Help, Thanks… Wow.
Yes.
Notes and reading
The Samanea saman, or “rain tree” - Useful Tropical Plants (link)
> See One Tree Planted - onetreeplanted.org - 501(c)3 environmental charity focused on global reforestation efforts (high charity rating).
[*] "You can never get enough of what you don't really want” - Toni Morrison would have called this the “third-beer syndrome.” In her novel Song of Solomon, a character is likened to the third beer — neither as gratifying as the first nor as enjoyable as the second, but merely there to be consumed without much thought or appreciation. - The Hoffer remark is quoted without specific citation by James Hillman in "The Myth of Therapy: An Interview with James Hillman," Sy Safransky, The Sun (April 1991), 2-19.
Perspectives on Gratitude: An Interdisciplinary Approach (2017). David Carr, Editor. Carr is Professor of Ethics and Education at the Jubilee Centre for Character and Virtues at the University of Birmingham, UK.
Eichmann in Jerusalem - Hannah Arendt (1963, 2006).
Hannah Arendt and the Banality of Evil - Stephen J. Whitefield, Brandeis. The History Teacher (August 1981). JSTOR
Gratitude - “the parent of all virtue.” Cicero, from Pro Plancio (For Plancius), a speech delivered as a legal defense on behalf of his friend, Gnaeus Plancius. 1st c. BCE.
Medieval theologian - Meister Eckhart, 13th c. The quote is often attributed to Eckhart because it reflects his thought, but contemporary sources cite Brother David Steindl-Rast, the “modern spiritual teacher” mentioned in the reference that follows. (See Gratefulness, The Heart of Prayer: An Approach to Life in Fullness - with Henri Nouwen - 1984).
Anne Lamott - Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers (2012).